Which one should I choose?Credits: iStockphoto

It has been a rollercoster ride these past while. Really.
Two weeks ago I’ve made up my mind. I knew what I wanted. Well, I thought I knew what I wanted. But now – I have no idea anymore. I have no idea whether it is the right choice. I have no idea if I do it likewise I’ll be happier.

I’m tired of loads of things, loads of people.

I’m sick of my terumbang-ambing life. I miss those times when I’m more grounded. I miss that person who made my life (at that time) a little less chaotic.

I’m tired of these people around me who can’t stop blabbering about their engagements/weddings preps. Well I have nothing against ‘em peeps. But is that the only thing you can talk about?
It is always the same topic; the same conversations. Every single day.

I’m tired of having people make remarks about the fact I’m single. With that keji looks on their faces. Though I miss the intimacy I used to share with previous boyfriends; I am at a point of enjoying my single life. No doubt about that.
Which reminds me of a scene from P.S. I Love You :)

John McCarthy: You know, Denise, that’s why you’re not married. Women act like men. Then they complain men don’t want them.
Denise Hennessey: Oh, is that why? ‘Cause I thought it was something different. I thought that it was ’cause I deserved the best and he’s out there. He’s just with all the wrong women. And let me be clear. After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the divine right to stare at a man’s backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!

So stop looking at me like I’m the most pathetic person on earth. I don’t need you to be all sympathetic because I don’t see why I need your sympathy and because I chose this path I’m living at the moment.

A very good friend once said to me – I have too many male friends. He said that might be one of the reasons why I’m not in a relationship with anyone.

So – it’s alright for males to have a lot of female friends but likewise for us females? Hmph.

Ada aku kesah??